To Boldly Go Where Many Have Gone Before

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.

And so began the seven season (178 episode) journey. I’ve started the month of September with an idea. To watch the entirety of Star Trek: The Next Generation, again. Why, of all the shows on my ever-growing list of catching up to do, why choose a show now thirty years old. Because, TNG was Dads and my show. We’re coming up fast on the one year mark since he passed. I thought it fitting to relive some of what we bonded over, all those years ago.

The Cubs, Computers and Star Trek

The three biggest things that bonded us together: The Cubs, computers and Star Trek. Often in that order, but not always. I can remember watching Dads collection of ST:TOS. Many episodes, more than once. Then, in 1986, my favorite Star Trek movie, The Voyage Home, premiered. 1987 brought us Captain Jean-Luc Picard and NCC-1701-D. If I wasn’t already hooked on Star Trek by that point. I definitely was after their encounter with Q. The Enterprise became our home (Far) away from home, together. Possibly, because it coincided, more or less, with the official end of my parents marriage. During our weekends together, Saturday nights became Star Trek Night. I probably asked too many questions that Dad would try his best to answer to a 9 year olds satisfaction.

Today, and for the last year, I’m overwhelmed with a mix of sadness and nostalgia. Neither one completely separate from the other. Desperately holding on to nearly 40 years of memories. All the while, praying that somewhere, out there, Dad knows how much he’s missed, how much he’s loved and how damn sorry I am that his last days were spent in pain. If I could have one more day to spend with him, I’d like to say that I’d tell him all the things I never had the chance to. When, in reality, one more Cubs game on TV followed by a Star Trek marathon would feel the most… satisfying. I can sit here and share all the thoughts and things that I should’ve said. But, if given the opportunity, with him by my side, I would rather just have a bit more fun with Dad.

To be truthful. I don’t know if any of this makes sense to anyone but me. I reread it and the others I’ve posted and sometimes they sound clear and others it all sounds like a jumbled mess with no real beginning, or end.

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