Also, 2 weeks ago, I went in for the previously mentioned significant oral surgery. During the 2 1/2 hours I spent in the chair, 27 teeth were extracted, few of which were complete, most being chipped, cracked or almost entirely broken off. Getting used to dentures has been an interesting process, but, I’m much better off for it. It is taking some getting used to, though. Some adjustments need to be made so I can actually wear the dentures a bit more often, but ultimately, the entire procedure and what has followed is truly a small price to pay to have a full smile for the first time in almost 8 years.

Eating has been the biggest change. In the little time I’ve worn the dentures do to the impending adjustments, I found I was unable to eat much of anything due to the overall soreness and foreign nature of having the dentures in my mouth. Without the dentures in, the majority of my diet has consisted of soup. Lately, I’ve begun trying to eat potato chips and crackers as I am trying to work my way up to more substantial foods.

Anyway, I’ll post a before and after photo, just not right this minute.

As for the other stuff: This Friday, I’ll be heading in for some significant oral surgery. People that know me, know that I’ve had a fairly hideous smile for quite some time, and its just gradually gotten worse as time goes by. I’m such a horrible son, as my parents dished out thousands of dollars for braces when I was a teenager, only to see my teeth basically rot out of head in the time since they were removed. So now I get spend even more money to get everything removed and I’ll be the proud owner of dentures, which will allow me to smile without feeling self conscious.

I’m debating the before and after pictures … To be honest, when the day comes, I won’t be in much condition to be thinking of that as I will be undergoing sedation dentistry to help alleviate my anxiety regarding dental procedures. The long and short of it, is when I was a child, I had a very bad encounter with a dentist and it pretty much swore me off dealing with dentists, almost altogether, which in itself, didn’t help the state I have found my teeth in, today. Regardless though, this is a procedure I’ve been putting off for about 6 years and its about damn time I’m going through with it. At the very least, I get to be drugged up, and most likely not remember the majority of the procedure. Works for me, I sure as hell won’t complain.

That’s all for today, its a bit past my bedtime.

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A stressful day. I slept like crap because of it and still have to go to work in a few hours. Badly wanted a cigarette earlier. Actually, I didn’t want it, as much as I thought I needed it. Fought it off though, and I’m better now. As things go, this was the first difficult day and making it through without caving in makes me feel better. I really need to fully let go of the stress or I’m going to keep having cravings. Will have to wait until tomorrow evening, when I can take out some aggression on the bowling pins.

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

All good so far, 4 days plus and counting. I’ve noticed a slight uptick in my eating habits, which is somewhat concerning as that was biggest worry when the thoughts of quitting began creeping in my head. Other than that, I can’t complain. Veronica is quite happy with me, as well. I’ve found that I don’t think about having a cigarette as long as I keep my brain occupied. A real test will be this evening. See, I work overnights and happen to be off tonight. In trying to keep my sleep schedule the same, I will be awake all night. Veronica works days and as such will be going to sleep at a semi regular time. Meaning, I will be up all night, by myself, with only the World Wide Weird to keep me company. Guess I’ll be watching some movies and catching up on some web design stuff. Maybe take a short nap too, who knows.

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I’ve officially began another attempt to quit smoking, for the second time this year. My first attempt lasted roughly a month, but, due to some stressful situations at the end of March and beginning of April, I  regrettably picked up the habit again.

While laid off for nearly 2 years, I had climbed to nearly 2 packs per day. By getting back into the work force, I was no longer trapped in front of my computer, losing track of how many cigarettes I was lighting in such a short span of time. Cutting my smoking in half was great, but I really want to accomplish quitting completely. Currently, I’m at the 26 hour mark now and the hardest part so far, is fighting through some mild cravings and also while at work keeping myself extra busy as break time approaches and what would previously be smoke break time.

I’m hoping that by tracking my efforts here and with an app I found for my Android phone, it will help to keep me on the right side of quitting. Plus, by starting this journey early, there isn’t the pitfall of New Year’s resolutions, which inevitably fail, quite often.

“We will keep the movie site as pristine as we can. That’s the magic of the place. We want to keep the memories of it like in the movies.”

As a youth I visited the field with my father. It was a short stay, as it was quite crowded that day, but I’ll never forget the trip and seeing in person, what I’ve seen on VHS/DVD many times before and since. To this day Field of Dreams rates as one of my favorite movies of all time. The site is one that anyone who considers themselves a true fan of baseball, needs to see before they die, preferably before the redevelopment commences.

Will have to watch the movie again, soon.

Moonlight Graham:

Well, you know I… I never got to bat in the major leagues. I would have liked to have had that chance.

Just once.

To stare down a big league pitcher. To stare him down, and just as he goes into his windup, wink.

Make him think you know something he doesn’t.

That’s what I wish for. The chance to squint at a sky so blue that it hurts your eyes just to look at it. To feel the tingling in your arm as you connect with the ball. To run the bases – stretch a double into a triple, and flop face-first into third, wrap your arms around the bag. That’s my wish, Ray Kinsella. That’s my wish. And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true?

Field of Dreams makes you feel those things, if only for a moment. A moment, to the child in all of us, that can last a lifetime …

I was waking up to a phone call around this time, ten years ago. My father telling me a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. Finishing to wipe the sleep from my eyes, I turned on the TV to see the 2nd tower get hit. I sat nearly paralyzed watching the news, unable to tear myself away.

In a few hours, I would answer another phone call. This time, from my boss. They needed extra coverage at work. Reluctantly, I agreed. You see, at the time, like today, I was a security officer. Only then, I was assigned to a client located within O’Hare International Airport. Many things flashed through my mind between the time I hung up the phone and some 11 hours later when my shift would be complete.

I spent 9 hours stationed in a truck, next to the tarmac. I mean thisclose to the damn runway. Watching and waiting and watching some more as one of the worlds busiest airports was eerily silent, save for the F-16s flying overhead and the occasional police car zooming past for one reason or another. No takeoffs, no landings, no planes, anywhere really. A devastating attack, which took basically moments to accomplish had turned O’Hare into a very literal ghost town, Missing only the tumbleweeds to complete the appearance. It was like the awkward anticipation of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thankfully, it never happened.

If only to save from driving myself crazy, but also as it turned out, to put at ease the feelings of my loved ones, I spent portions of that day talking to them on the phone. Trading information with them from what I heard on the radio and through the grapevine to what they heard and saw on TV.

For so many reasons, much the same as everyone else, i will never forget that day, or where I spent it and why. After a decade, the memories of the pictures, video and news on TV and the radio are no less vivid, painful or emotional than they were on that fateful day.

My generation has its tragedy the same as our parents remember the JFK assassination and our grandparents remember Pearl Harbor. I can do nothing more than hope and pray that our children are lucky enough not to have a generation defining tragedy of their own.